Divorced Dads – 15 Links useful links
When I spilt from my ex-wife and children five years ago there wasn’t much out there online in terms of help for fathers. I was divorcing my wife but not my children and have stayed very much involved in their daily lives. You need to make the effort, go the extra yard, bite your tongue and keeping going when it’s really hard. I hope you find the websites listed below of use for both information about getting divorced and the support from those going through similar tough times.
1. Child Support Agency Home Page – http://www.csa.gov.uk/
The CSA website is not something to be afraid of. You want to do right by your children if they aren’t living with you full time or make sure your get the right payments from your ex if they do. The CSA site is easy to use, helps you to work out how much you need to pay and the online calculator is really easy to use. I pop across when I change jobs or my circumstances change and use it to update my details and adjust the payments.
2. Govenment Information about divorce and separation – http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/FamilyIssuesAndTheLaw/index.htm
Useful information from the UK government about the divorce process, your legal rights and responsibilities and how to get the information you require.
3. CAFCASS – Putting Child First in Family Court – http://www.cafcass.gov.uk/
“…Cafcass looks after the interests of children involved in family proceedings. We work with children and their families, and then advise the courts on what we consider to be in the best interests of individual children….”
CAFCASS are not the bad guys. They are there to make sure that your children are put first and listened to. They work in the family court make sure that the child’s view is paramount.
4. Fathers for Justice Website – http://www.fathers-4-justice.org/
Fathers for Justice look to improve the child care arrangements and the way in which UK law works for fathers. Most famous for their stunts they have a serious message the site is a hive of useful information.
5. Citizen Advice - http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
CAB provide legal advice on a range of legal issue that can effect divorcing fathers or dad’s separating from their children.
6. Child Maintenance Options – http://www.cmoptions.org/
The new CSA! The governments new Child Maintenance Site that has been changed to reflect changes in the law regarding payments and private agreements for child maintenance.
7. Divorced Dads Network – http://dads-uk.co.uk/main/news.php
UK based news and forum for divorcing fathers. The forum is not that active at the moment but it is still a good place for reference about divorce and child care issues.
8. Divorced Dads Centre – http://www.dadsdivorce.com/
This is a US based site but a really good source of practical advice about how to cope during and after a divorce or separation and how to stay involved in your children’s lives. It is well worth visiting and returning as they tend to update all the time.
9. Divorce Online Forums – http://www.divorce-online.co.uk/forum/toast.asp
Divorce Online is the big Daddy of UK divorce forums. It isn’t strictly for fathers but for all those getting a divorce. The forums are very active and there are sections for single Dads with really good advice and support from those going through or who have been through the same things as you. Join up and get involved – you are not alone.
10. Separated Dads – http://www.separateddads.co.uk/HowDivorceWorksForFathers.html
Good, clear, concise list dealing with how the UK divorce process works for divorced Dads. One to bookmark and go back to.
11. Divorce Online Blog – http://blog.divorce-online.co.uk/
Blog for Divorce Online worth checking out for breaking news stories about divorce and related topics.
12. Divorced Dads at About - http://fatherhood.about.com/od/divorceddads/tp/divorced_dads.htm
Good practical advice for Divorced Dads looks at a number of factors that you need to think about when dealing with your children and your ex after your divorce.
13. Divorce Dads Minute – Podcast for you to take away – http://www.divorceddadminute.com/
A Divorced Dads podcast worth a quick listen although it US based.
Another set of good practical tips for divorcing Dads stresses the importance of being involved, keeping your promises and not bad mouthing their Mother.
This is a useful fact sheet for divorcing fathers from the BBC. It does need to be updated but still a good quick reference guide.
Good luck, there is light at the end of the tunnel and I feel my relationship with my children has held up very well post divorce.
Antony Heywood 2010 (C)