Divorced Fathers

Divorce is always a stressful time. A divorce solicitor is usually required even for simple divorces and choosing the right one is an important decision. It can cost you both financially and emotionally if you don’t have the right solicitor.

Who is the right solicitor depends on a number of things including your budget and the type of divorce you are going through, as well as your personal circumstances.

Budget

Although you shouldn’t just go with the cheapest solicitors, everyone has a budget. You will obviously need to work out what yours is and find a solicitor who you can afford. There is no point in paying for something that you don’t need so if your divorce is fairly uncomplicated then you don’t need to be paying for a top divorce solicitor. Similarly if you have a complex divorce, with children and property involved for example, and then choosing the cheapest solicitor you can find is likely to be a mistake.

Experience

It is always wise to use experienced family law solicitors, but not just experienced in family law issues is general, but in similar types of cases to yours. If you are applying for custody of your children, for example, using a solicitor who hasn’t dealt with divorces involving children is not advisable, no matter how experienced he or she is with other types of divorces.

Type of Divorce

There are different types of divorce, for example:

Where you and your former spouse agree on all aspects of the divorce

Where you and your former spouse agree on all aspects of the divorce

Where there are many valuable assets, such as expensive property

Where marriages have involved abuse

A large part of choosing the right solicitor comes down to the type of divorce you are going through. As already mentioned, you need someone with the relevant experience. Solicitors have their own specialities, even within the family law sector, so making sure you use someone in the best possible position to help you is crucial.

Personal Preference

Some may not think of this as an important aspect, but your personal feelings towards a solicitor needs to be at least considered. You need to choose someone you can actually work with. It is only a business relationship, so you don’t have to be best friends, but you need to be able to work constructively with each other.

Picking the Right Solicitor

You don’t just want to use the first solicitor who you find. Take a little time to do some research and interview a few different lawyers. You then need to choose one based on a balance between someone with the necessary experience with your type of case, someone who you feel you can trust, and someone you think you will be able to have a good working relationship with. There are many variables that determine the solicitor that is best for you, and it is important to get a balance between these so he or she can assist you throughout your divorce proceedings in the best possible way.

Andrew Marshall (c)

More information and advice is available at Stone King Divorce & Separation Solicitors.

Divorce isn’t always the only option, for information on Mediation visit Family Law Solicitors

Resolution run a course called Parenting After Parting for parents who are going to divorce or separate to help them deal better with parenting matters during and after the divorce.

The course covers the following areas:

• What to say to children about divorce or separation
• How children are effected when parents split up
• Ways to help children cope with the divorce
• Information on placing your child first in the process
• How to establish a parenting relationship after divorce

The courses are running in a number of locations across England including:

Cambridge

Kent

London

Newcastle

There is more information on the Resolution website here:

http://www.resolution.org.uk/parentevents/

This video is an audio recording of an interview with Jeffrey Leving – author of “How to be a good divorced Dad. Although it US based in still and interesting interview.

Obtaining a divorce can be a highly emotional process and can be, at times, fairly confusing. If you feel as though your marriage has irretrievably broken down and you have decided that you want a divorce, the first thing you will need to do is to decide on your reasons for divorce. These reasons are known as the ‘grounds for divorce’ and are divided into five categories. These are adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion, two years’ separation and five years’ separation. Further information about the grounds for divorce can be found in the Squidoo, ‘What are the Grounds for Divorce?’ Once you have decided on the grounds for your divorce you can then advance into the main divorce process. If your case is fairly straightforward and you and your spouse are fairly prompt with your paperwork, the process should not take any longer than 8 months.

After deciding on your grounds for divorce you will need to file a Divorce Application. This is a request recognised by the courts to start divorce proceedings. It will contain information about you and your spouse and the grounds for divorce. The person who has filed for divorce is known as the ‘applicant’ while the other person is known as the ‘respondent’. You will need to fill out three copies of the divorce petition. If you are applying for a divorce on the grounds of adultery, it is possible to name the other person your spouse committed adultery with. Many legal professionals will often advise against this, however, as it can anger the respondent and make them unwilling to cooperate in the proceedings. If you have children together who are either under sixteen or under eighteen and still in education a Statement of Arrangements will have to be filled out. This form will state the living arrangements for the children after the divorce.

Once you have completed the Divorce Application you will need to send it with you marriage certificate (not a copy) and a Court Fee (usually £340) to the Court. When you have done this the divorce process will have begun. The Court will check your documents and make sure they are happy with the details. They will then issue the divorce application and send it to the Respondent. They will also send any Statements of Arrangements and an Acknowledgement of Service form. When the Respondent receives these documents they will have to read them through carefully and decide whether or not they agree with the terms of the divorce. If they are happy not to dispute the case they have to fill out the Acknowledgement of Service form and return it to the Court within seven days. If they do wish to dispute the divorce they will have to fill out a separate form and return it within 28 days. If they wish to apply for a divorce against you, they are perfectly able to do this and have to complete their own petition called a ‘cross petition’.

If your spouse fills out and signs the Acknowledgement of Service form and returns it to the Court, a copy will be sent to you. The next step in the divorce process is to swear an Affidavit. An Affidavit is a statement sworn under oath that the facts in the Divorce Application are all true. The Affidavit is sent to the Court with the signed Acknowledgement of Service. If the process so far has been carried out to the Court’s satisfaction they will set a date for the Decree Nisi to be pronounced. You will not usually need to be present in Court for the pronouncement of the Decree Nisi.

Six weeks and a day (no earlier) after the pronouncement of the Decree Nisi the Applicant can apply for the Decree Absolute. This is the final step that will completely end your marriage. You will need to fill in an application form and pay a standard fee of £45. Once the Court grants your request for the Decree Absolute the divorce process will be finished. If you, as the applicant, fail to apply for the Decree Absolute, your spouse is eligible to apply three months later.

The divorce process can be fairly complicated and many of the documents need to be in a specific form. Though you can arrange your own divorce without involving a solicitor, it is usually helpful to engage the services of a family law solicitor. They can help you fill out the paperwork and can ensure that your documents are in the correct format. If you and your partner cannot find a middle ground over the issues of children, property or possessions a mediator may be able to help. A mediator is a person independent from both you and your spouse who will try to help you reach an agreement without taking sides. Solicitors can also do this on your behalf; they will negotiate with your spouse or their solicitor to reach an agreement over the divorce process. A solicitor will also be able to arrange for your Affidavit to be sworn under oath. If you still cannot come to an agreement with your spouse it is likely you will have to go to Court to settle the matter.

© Izzy Evans 2012

If you would like to find out more about the divorce process in the United Kingdom you can visit Family Law London

Band-aides support (Photo credit: RambergMediaImages)

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• National News: Errors in child maintenance figures (coventrytelegraph.net)
• Over £87m owed in child maintenance to single parents (belfasttelegraph.co.uk)
• Watchdog finds errors in child support accounts (guardian.co.uk)

Interesting article over at the Daily Telegraph about fathers and children post divorce. Although Cristina Odone is not divorced herself she does sum up her view well in her closing paragraph.

“…Divorce is ugly, and its scars long-lasting. As the child of divorced parents, it took me until I was in my 40s to overcome my phobia of marriage: I knew all too well the pain of break-up. But if children continue to have access to both parents – even if this has to be legally enforced – they have a chance of surviving the emotional upheaval. The government finally agrees….”

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/cristinaodone/100134859/victory-for-divorced-dads-is-a-victory-for-children/

Article in the Daily Mail today about the amount of time or rather lack of it that fathers spend with their children on a daily basis. The average amount a time is 56 minutes a day and according to the article it is on the decline. Now I am Dad who works full-time and I have a 45 minute drive into work and back. I reckon I spend about an hour to an hour 15 minutes a day between getting home and putting the children to bed. I do all the baths and bedtime stories so that the time can be extended a little.

The average dad spends just 56 minutes a day with their son, research shows.

“With work pressures and financial woes mounting, half of modern dads believe father and son bonding is becoming a thing of the past and 53 per cent think face-to-face time as at an all time low.

The average father spends just 56 minutes a day with their son, and 18 per cent spend 15 minutes or less….”

The full post is here:

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2122046/Father-son-bonding-time-thing-past.html#ixzz1qc3FcQg8

Divorce Solicitors in London

On 8th December 2011 , the Office of National Statistics (ONS) released the latest figures on divorces taking place in 2010.  Having recently written about the trends over recent years, and what this tells us about the health of marriage as an institution, it is worth considering how these latest stats affect the bigger picture.

The headline is that the number of divorces in 2010 rose; the first annual rise in eight years (since 2003) and seemingly out of step with the broader trend.  The total number of divorces that occurred in 2010 came to 119,589 representing a 4.9% increase on 2009’s 113,949 divorces.  Although, on the surface, this does seem to suggest a rise in the prevalence of divorce the figure could potentially be explained by other factors such as a larger married population – more tellingly the divorce rate, that is the percentage of the married population that got divorced, also rose from 10.5% in 2009 to 11.1% in 2010. So does this reinforce the perception that more marriages are failing?

Rather than an indication of a broader shift in societal attitudes it is more likely that the results for 2010 mark a glitch in a longer term decline in divorce rates. This kind of glitch or spike in divorce rates has been seen at other points in recent history when the country has been on the tail end of a recession.  In 1993 the rate spiked following the recession between 1990 and 1992. There seems to have been a lag between the worst of the financial troubles and a jump in divorces and it seems plausible that this could also hint at causality;  financial issues are one of the major causes of relationship breakdowns and the lag may be explained by a) an initial reaction to ‘pull together’ to deal with money issues, b) the build up of subsequent pressures in the relationship and then, c) once the relationship has broken down, the time it takes for divorce process itself to complete.

In terms of the broader picture, the actual number of divorces has been noticeably falling for the last decade although it is easy to attribute this to the corresponding fall in marriages and previous divorce trends eroding the size of the married population in the first place.  The fact that the divorce rate has been steadily falling too suggests that those who are married are less likely to split.

Further evidence comes from the profile of those couples involved. More divorces involved individuals aged 40-44 than any other age group in 2010 but interestingly it seems that the age at which people divorce is creeping up (both men and women had 0.2 increases to 44.2 and 41.7 respectively), albeit in line with the rise in the age at which people are marrying, whilst the duration of marriages has plateaued.  Moreover, the highest rate of divorces for men in 2010 was seen in the 30-34 year old age group rather than the 25-29 group in 2009 (women were unchanged).  This may all suggest that marriages are starting later but are beginning to last a little longer.

Despite the latest figures telling us that 33% of marriages starting in 1995 had failed in the 15 year period to 2010 (up from 22% of those in the same 15 year period from 1970) the ONS is suggesting that the figures they have obtained so far may indicate that the rate of divorce before the 15th year for more recent marriages may be likely to decline.  Again this adds a little more weight to the argument that couples now seem to be waiting longer (cohabiting), being more cautious but ultimately, as a result, being more successful in their marriages.

In summary, it would seem most likely that the rise in divorces in 2010 is a spike, as witnessed in previous periods of recession, rather than a longer term trend.  There is still evidence in the age and duration of those getting divorced to support the bigger picture that couples are being more successful in marriage, but only time will tell.

© Stuart Mitchell 2011

It is worth noticing too when plotting the number of divorces against marriages for each year that the number of marriages does not indicate the size of the married population and so divorce rates should not be inferred by comparing the two.

More couples than even are living together without getting married, whether never planning to get married or living together for a while prior to marriage. There are more than four million cohabiting couples in the UK now, with nearly half of children being born outside of marriage.

While a couple living together may not be a problem, it can become problematic if they separate. It can be confusing for people as they may not know exactly where they stand. For example, what happens if they own a home together or have children? Many have the wrong idea of family law in these cases, while others don’t consider it when they first move in together. After all, to some, simply living in a house with another person may not seem that bigger deal even if they are a couple. Some assume that cohabiting couples have the same legal rights as a married couple, with the idea of common law marriage, where couples who have lived together long term automatically have the same rights as married couples. This is not the case; the idea of common law marriage in the UK is a myth.

The problem at the moment is that people don’t really know where they stand, and many who think they know have the wrong idea. This issue has recently been in the news with the case of Ms Jones and Mr Kernott, who were an unmarried couple living together with their children. They separated and Mr Kernott moved out of the home with Ms Jones and the children continuing to live there, with Ms Jones paying the mortgage. Once the children had grown up Mr Kernott made a claim for the home, assuming he would be entitled to 50%. After many lengthy court battles the Supreme Court has awarded Ms Jones 90% and Mr Kernott just 10%. This could be a significant case in terms of determining entitlements of separating cohabiting couples.

Many legal experts have argued that with so many cohabiting couples the law needs to be changed and simplified. But how? There are many opinions as to what the law should be regarding separating unmarried couple who have lived together. Below are some of these arguments.

It should be balanced to reflect the assets that each person brought into the relationship.

This would be simple in many cases, as if one person owned the home the couple lived in, they would retain ownership after. Where both work, it would mean each keeping their own earnings. The problem would come where circumstances are different when they separate to when they moved in together. For example, if they have children and one parent gives up work to look after the children, then it would be unfair for this parent to be left with nothing. There is also the fact that just because one person owns the home doesn’t mean that that person is paying the mortgage. At the same time splitting the mortgage payments could be conceived as being the same as splitting rent on a rented property. The thing with this argument is that it should simplify things where the circumstances are straightforward but it would not work where it is more complicated and things have changed over time.

It should work just as it does with a marriage

In some ways this would be the easiest way for things to work, effectively bringing into law common law marriage. This would mean both halves of a couple would know exactly where they stand prior to moving in together and changes in circumstances would be taken into consideration during a separation. The reality, though, is that some couples when first living together have not got married for a reason; they do not want to be treated as a married couple. They might not be really for that sort of commitment, either emotionally or in terms of sharing assets in the same way a married couple does. Would it be right for a couple to live together only for a few months and then to have to split assets upon separation? And it could be argued that if you want to be treated as though you are married, then you should get married.

A couple should be able to make a legally binding agreement prior to living together

This could make things simpler. The couple could have a family law solicitor draw up a written agreement that states what would happen, and how assets would be divided if they were to separate. This would mean both know where they stand, and if they were to separate things would be fairly simple to sort out. However, changes in circumstances could prove problematic. For example they may have been splitting mortgage payments when they first lived together, but one person may have then been made unemployed and therefore hasn’t contributed to the mortgage. It may not be considered fair, therefore, that this agreement would still stand.

Family law can be complicated, and can be even more so where cohabiting couples are concerned. There have been calls for a change in the law, and it seems as though this would be a sensible step considering the number of cohabiting couples these days. However, it is difficult to establish how exactly it should be changed, considering the differing circumstances of different couples and how they could change over time.

Andrew Marshall (c)

More Information

Kernott V Jones

Cohabitation Government Information